so explain again why im purple
no
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
