Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
