Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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