Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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