I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
