Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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