I got chris browned last night
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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