pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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