It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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