It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
