hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think I sprained my soul last night
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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