Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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