it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
