There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
zippers are such a cool invention
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
