im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
They have beer where we have blood.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
