My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
