Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
