UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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