He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
