Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
