dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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