just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
