you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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