There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
