Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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