So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
