shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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