I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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