You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who died my cat blue again?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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