Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
