I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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