I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
