Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
