Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
