That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
