Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Randomize
