It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
