I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
