Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
