The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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