i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
