Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
