Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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