marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
