I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
