Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
