um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
