Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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