When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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