its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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