you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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