i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
